We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
