I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
