chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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