Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
