Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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