How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
