i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
