I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
