So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
