WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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