omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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