Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I smell stomach acid.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
