put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
