This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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