there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
