Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
