i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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