addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
