I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His nipple licking is glorious
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