lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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