Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
