I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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