lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
