So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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