ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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