I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
