no, he came in my armpit
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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