so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
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A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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