my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
