My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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