You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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