I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
