Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
How external is "for external use only"?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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