how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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