How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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