Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
