your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
