i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
