Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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