shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
