is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
