Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
