I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
