I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
