I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
