i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
