New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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