She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
