sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
