hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
