I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
