i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
