who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
