I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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