i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
