Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
