I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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