oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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