Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
