it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize