im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i came on her dog
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
