You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
