Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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