Too much gin, very little bucket
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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