what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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