I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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