Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
