Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
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Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
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I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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