you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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