there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
