When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
